If your closest work friend had died.
If you had started a new job
If that job turned out to be…
A little odd…


Would that be the kind of thing that could happen just to anyone at all, or would there be another reason – a reason that may take more than just a little unearthing to reveal – well, more like excavating than unearthing…


Featuring the theoretical cat*, the Thoughts of chairman Bob** and the existential mouse***, “Anyone” will take you on a journey unlike any other. ****
There will be blue egg thinking. Conundrums with regards as how exactly to learn about your room, dark matter, nuclear fission*****

and the advantages of having a friend called Mister Cheesy.


So reboot the Enid and Doris engine, grab an unusually fresh sandwich from Mr Hinnerty’s corner shop (motto: “we sell everything” – and he actually seems to) and follow me on a journey that may - or may not – make you rethink the way you look at the here, the hereafter and everything else in-between.******

*Theoretically, anyway.
** Not really Bob as such. May contain smiting.
*** Irish. Swears like a trouper. (This is not mutually inclusive by the way.)
***Not suitable for the over – religious or owners of the latest Tom Jones calendar.
*****Not like nuclear fusion at all. The bus fare for example, is horrendous.
****** Yes. There is an in between, though the weather is apparently terrible. Thunder, lightning and a definite smell of brimstone most of the time. Definitely never responsible for an entry on Trip Advisor or the like.
 


From the author of "Paul McCartney's Coat and Other Stories" and "Liverpool", "Anyone" is the latest novel in an increasingly difficult to categorise stories from Michael White. A sense of humour may most definitely be required.


HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU FIT THE WORD "AND" INTO A SENTENCE FIVE TIMES SEQUENTIALLY AND THE SENTENCE STILL MAKES SENSE - AND PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BOTHER???

First things first - the character of Jon in this was real, and what happened to him here happened in real life as well. Most of the stories in here about him are completely true - in fact, I toned one or two of them down as I thought they were just too outlandish for people to believe! Jon was a huge character, the funniest man I ever met and it goes without saying that I miss him terribly, and to

 some extent I suppose this book was partly down to the need for some form of               therapy to get over his loss. It’s also about fun as well. Jon would be                    seriously upset if I had written a book with him in it that had no fun in it at

all! It fact, it is probably the least serious book I have written so far - to the extent that over a course of several years I had to rewrite it time and time again just to make it a little less obscure. Still, I am

especially proud of the three characters whose lives run through the book as sub-plots. Rudge, the poor pub owner who is struggling to make sense of life after the smoking ban, Les, the hairdresser and his continual search for acting glory,

And of course Pip, the technical support call centre operative, and his constant quest to do no work at all. You probably won’t be surprised to hear that Les and Pip are both real too, and the stories about Regulus Telecom are all completely non-fiction. Only the name of the company has been changed to protect the guilty, the stupid and the downright unemployable. Did they employ a man to man the phones who was deaf? Were there an innumerable amount of totally unnecessary 2:2 drinker’s degrees amongst the management? Did one of the managers have a paddling pool full of live stingrays in his loft? Sadly the answer to these questions and the others in the book that I have not mentioned here are an unbelievable, YES. So now you know. Your broadband company is run by at best a bunch of incompetent dickheads. Then again, you probably knew that already, didn’t you? “Anyone” took a while to write, mostly I think because really I didn’t want to stop writing it - I would leave it alone for a while - go back and do a bit more and so on. I didn’t want to finish it because I suppose it was like saying goodbye to Jon again. I take comfort that he always asked me about my writing, how it was going, what I was doing and he always encouraged. Rest in peace, mate - this one is for you.

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